bodies and words//unedited
It started in my early teens, when I realized Im not as small as my friends. Not as light as a feather and as thin as a stick. Not saying that all of my friends were thin as a stick but thats what it felt like to me. I always loved eating, baking and had ever since I was small just a bit of a wider statue. Everyone was taking less space up in this world with their body than me. Then at some point the comments by others started, nothing major in the beginning, just something snarky here and there but it was more than enough. Ill probably never forget this one time when by coincidence I happened to wear pretty much the exact same as another girl in my class. Red jeans and a jeanshirt. Another girl commented on us matching (nothing nasty just a neutral comment) and the girl I wore the same clothes as said "but I dont look as fat in them". Yes. I KNOW. I was angry at this girl for a long time after then. Not anymore though. I learned to forgive, Im just not sure if Ill ever forget. I just hope that by today she knows to not say something like that to anyone.
That and many many other things made me really hate my body for the longest time. Every time I looked into the mirror I would only see everything bad. I gained a bit of chubbyness around my hips or my thighs look huge to me or my belly is sticking out like Im pregnant. And I by no means say that I never feel like that anymore, I still have my days where I feel like I could loose a few pounds, dont feel good enough, skinny enough, small enough just too much. But now there are also the good days. I dont think there was a particular point when that changed. Finding my style and starting to appreciate what my body does for me took a big part in that. There was a time where I did this excerside where, every time I looked into my mirror, searched out something different that I think is beautiful about me. Starting with something like "I dont mind my hands" to "I love my eyes". Those are all steps in the right direction, just try and keep it positive. What also definitely helps is only following people online who inspire you and make you feel good about yourself. Maybe search for some with similar body types and shapes to yours? I promise, there is someone out there. You are not alone. I know this really is easier said then done, but maybe it helps to know others have been there too. It can feel awfully alone.
We get told all throughout our life from social media, tv, books and sometimes even family and friends, that fat is a bad word. "Youre so fat" "you look fat" "You need to loose a few pounds youre fat" and similar stuff like this. Similarly are we told that thin is a good word. "Youre so beautifully skinny" "I wish I was as skinny as you", you get it. When in the end theyre both JUST WORDS. A Corgette can be described as fat, thick, thin or skinny. Same with a succulent, a broom, everything! Because it literally is just a word. Think about it, for men it really often is it the case, or at least thats what I experienced, that they want to be tall and broad, for women to be skinny and small. Lets break out of that stereotype! You are allowed to take up as much space as you need, if thats you being curvy or skinny, tall or small, wider or slimmer, it doesnt matter! You are beautiful just the way you are!
Some things I try to tell myself on the bad days:
Your body is doing a great job in keeping you alive
You are allowed to take up space
You are beautiful
You are loved just the way you are
You are enough
Stay healthy and be kind to yourself!
xx Aria
I by no means said everything there is to say about this as it is such a huge and important topic so I thought Id link some YouTube Channels and Instagram accountsI follow that have a great body positivity rep x
YouTube
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